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holy shit, YES!

Portugal, EDP Vissla Pro

October 1

Brazil, Corona Saquarema Pro

November 1



US Open



Matt Mccabe

Craig Anderson (One shit wave from when we got skunked in PR)

Eithan Osbourne (Maybe only clip of the trip)

Dane Reynolds

Dylan Graves (Fly’s through frame)

Jake Anderson (He’s either going hate or love this)

Andrew Doheny (Last track is the first song he ever wrote)

I surfed with Matt yesterday morning. There were some overhead green slabbing closeouts. Each one teased that it would have an exit but there were none. I didn’t make one barrel but it was fun. I think Matt made a few… We laughed about how geriatric we felt trying to get to our feet in quickly breaking waves these days. 

In between sets he told me that his friend – who I remember because last summer he showed up at Matt’s place with a bump stock to build an AK47 and swore the world was going to end in October – he had sent him a new video and it had a compelling take on Covid. I laughed and he said I’ll probably think he’s crazy but he’s going to send me a link. 

After that I headed down to Zuma. I never surf Zuma. Last time was probably 10 years ago but yesterday had an odd mix of swells that led me to believe it would be worth trying… the kids were covered and I had all day to surf so why not? 

It looked fun enough so I suited up and ran up the beach to where there was a hole in the crowd. A guy parked in a black Porsche SUV starts yelling out his window “Fuckin beat it Reynolds go back to Silver Strand and leave your cameraman at home you fuckin kook…” I laughed and gave him a sympathy nod cause I thought it was an attempt at humor but as I keep running and his yelling gets fainter I realize he isn’t joking and now it actually becomes funny. The last words I hear is “that’s what I thought.”

There were some random peaks and I tried to do some tricks for the camera with mixed results.

Out in the water a long haired fellow on a soft top asks if he can have 30 seconds of my time for a business pitch. You can’t really say no so he proceeds to inform me that NFT’s are all the rage and they could be right up my alley.

“What are NFT’s?” Well shit, I still don’t quite understand but someone is creating something called crypto punks which are 8 bit digital art files that are being traded for millions of dollars. Fuckin crazy. My brain does not compute. Fascinating and foreign. Why would you want ownership of this art? Why is it crypto? What the fuck?

I can’t tell if Crypto is gonna be like Beanie Babies and it’ll be laughable looking back or if it’s actually the future global currency. He says it’s the future. Well shit, maybe I should make some NFT’s…

When I get home I see Matt had sent me a link to the video. I give it 20 minutes. It’s extremely poor quality and uses bootleg YouTube clips to document how covid tests are being used as conduits for microchips to be implanted into our bodies that ultimately will be used to make us slaves that mine cryptocurrencies. I mean that’s as far as I got… 

I’m sure every era and every generation had it’s confusing and uncertain times, 

But, right now, can someone explain what the hell is going on? Is there a Satanist Cabal BBQ’ing babies at George Soro’s house while Bill Gates implants tracking devices in every human being or is half the population losing their goddamn minds?

Anyways little backstory on this vid – I brought Matt along on the Electric Acid Surfboard Test just to have a surf bud. We were meant to go to Puerto Rico which would have lovely left air sections but went to Salina Cruz instead where there isn’t a left in sight. Matt hates right points but I checked out his footage the other day and was like shit he was ripping!

I’ve always wanted to put this Parquet Courts track to surfing. It feels as relevant as ever. Then I was looking through some video clips from when we got skunked in Puerto Rico right before Covid shutdown and thought the clip of us driving around listening to Ween’s 12 golden country hits was funny… then I started digging into footage that didn’t find a place in Short Circuit and there we go, in honor of trying to keep things loose and not overthink what qualifies as an episode, we have Rejects too! Hope you enjoy. 

Comment below if you can shed light on global current events.

36 thoughts on “009

  1. Funny zuma Malibu talk shit then venture north to Ventura/Oxnard in the winter. Stay the fuck home enjoying being a trust fund druggie

    1. “enjoying being a trust fund druggie”

      Where do I sign up? I’d love to try it, odds are I’d enjoy.

  2. ha.. at least we have surf spots to fuss and fight about while the world ends (or is forecasted to). love this parquet courts song. I think the answer to your question is the latter.

  3. Half of everyone has always been walking around with their minds lost. Or everyone with half their minds lost. Whatʻs lost is just more organized now.

  4. “But, right now, can someone explain what the hell is going on? Is there a Satanist Cabal BBQ’ing babies at George Soro’s house while Bill Gates implants tracking devices in every human being or is half the population losing their goddamn minds?”

    Baby burgers are delicious. Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.

    In all seriousness, you’ve asked a good question, Dane. One of — if not the most — pressing questions of our time. On the surface, the state of affairs seems like nothing more than a sequence of random acts of chaos, each propagating a shockwave more destructive than the last. But on closer inspection, this tendency of the modern individual to feel that he has been arbitrarily flung and abandoned into an absurd world is the direct result of the loss in our culture of what Nietzsche called the “historical sense,” i.e. an understanding of history. By studying the past, we can see the chain of cause and effect that has led us to this fragmented, paranoid, aggravated place. There are many piercing thinkers who have studied the past and interpreted our world for us, and many who continue to do so today. By identifying and availing ourselves of them, we can begin to make sense of things.

    To answer your question more directly (“Has half the population lost their goddamn minds?”), I’d raise that figure to close to 100%. This isn’t about democrats vs. republicans; zoom out, and you’ll see that the two major parties in American politics are vastly more alike than they are different, two sides of the same coin of the U.S. single-party system: the business party. Both democrats and republicans alike are financed by corporate donors, which is why, even with Trump out of office, we see the Biden administration issuing oil drilling permits galore on federal land and in coastal waters, reneging on stimulus money promised to desperate Americans, maintaining child detention camps at the border (but rebranding them to “overflow facilities” to make them sound less heinous, in classic liberal fashion), and dropping bombs that kill innocents all over the globe. In truth, democrat vs. republican is a fake divide that pits us irrationally against one another. Our true enemy is the corporate authoritarian rule that buys our democracy, controls our resources, and dominates our lives. It turns out that there is an entire range of the political spectrum that doesn’t even enter into our the mainstream discourse, because it has been systematically hidden from us, because it threatens the status quo of private rule.

    How did it come to be this way? The great American imperial project has always been guided by a deeply antisocial, pathological strain of ruthless individualism, whose sole motive is private greed. This spirit of ruthless self-interest animates our “free market” society, a zero sum game where the “winners” keep winning and taking more and more from those who are systematically left behind. Opportunities for self-determination are few and disappearing fast, and a sense of communal purpose and commitment to one another has all but vanished. When everyone is left to fend for themselves, loneliness, alienation, paranoia, and disempowerment abound. These symptoms have been radically exacerbated and amplified by a digital realm that sews division, preys on vanity, and rewards sensationalism.

    TL;DR: The market society has siphoned resources away from the public and toward fewer and fewer private individuals whose sole aim is to cling to and grow that wealth at all costs. This has led to the systematic defunding of public schools (which is why no one knows the history that could make this all make sense), deepening wealth inequality, mass economic immiseration, and a desperate, angry, confused populace desperate for someone to blame — hence the rise of conspiracy theories today. People are smart enough to detect that something is amiss, but they’ve been deprived of the tools to figure out what that is. So they’ve become perfect prey to authoritarian strongmen and an anesthetic media and entertainment culture that convinces them everything is simple and okay.

    Dane, I know this is an absurdly long and intricate response, but I’m a great admirer of your art — not just your surfing, but your films, your fashion, and your writing too. From following your career, it seems to me that you know all of the above intuitively. You know, deep down, that there’s something strange and dystopian and utterly inauthentic about a world in which, in order to live a surfing life, you have to shill for corporations, turn your craft into a billboard, become a salesman, figure out ways to convince people to buy things, so that you can prove your monetary worth to the market society. Turn art into a commodity. You strike me as a purist at heart with a strong intuition for what is real and true in this world, and I think that the left perspective could be extremely insightful in your quest to understand what the hell is going on.

    I highly recommend Chris Hedges as a place to start:

    If you want to talk more about this, let me know.

    – TJ

    1. Yo TJ, thank you for that comment. You have really articulated a lot of the ways I feel about the state of things right now. Reading this has connected a lot of dots together in my brain and brought about a better understanding of what I am thinking/feeling. Thanks again!

      1. Glad you found my comment useful, JC. I’m trying to pay forward the people who have helped me make sense of the world.

      1. Hey, Stevey. Good question. Wage labor isn’t an inevitable fact of life. It’s actually a relatively new part of human society. Until the 1930s, a common sentiment among ordinary working people was that renting yourself in order to live wasn’t far from slavery itself.

        1. Thanks, I’m familiar with it! The Chapter 11 film is one of the major pieces of evidence for why I suspect that Dane is an instinctive anti-capitalist, whether he’s ever consciously identified as such or not. He has a nose for the inauthentic behavior and contradictions that the system

          1. Word. I was more replying to Stevey’s comment that “ isn’t it just called a job” since they indicated he was unfamiliar with Dane’s experience/feelings.

    2. Awesome reply. Martin Gurri – even though he’s a former spook – also touches upon a lot of what you said (see Matt Taibbi’s recent articles on Substack about Gurri). There’s been a big breakdown in trust in traditional authorities, due to how it all seems totally rigged to benefit a few. And he notes a “wish to smash down whatever stands,” but without anything to really replace it.

  5. Hey Dane! I’m a software engineer and I’ve been working in crypto for some time now. Feel free to shoot me a DM on Twitter if you want to learn more about NFTs and Ethereum in general. Maybe we can work something out for the Former brand, or any other form of digital art you may be interested in turning into NFTs.

  6. Half the world is just plain ordinary stupid. Conspiracy theories have a strong influence on the weak minded. Keep ripping Dane. We need more clips!

  7. Dane I admire your work. With respect to the Qanon conspiracy theories. I am sad to say that it appears this is a well crafted and extremely divisive social manipulation tool that has been in development for many years. Alternate Reality Games (ARG’s) are a very real form of gameplay that take place in the “real world”. It appears that “Q” has modelled this same approach, however the tasks required to immerse yourself in the game play are nefarious yet compelling. Remember, humans like a good game and sleuthing can be enjoyable to some. The most concerning aspect to this “Q” game is that it does not provide a finish or stage completion. Thus, the players are essentially creating the content of the game in situ. More disturbingly, the ‘clues’ provided by the players are based on common consensus and blind belief rather than verifiable truths. Moving forward, the effects of this game have ravaged the US population through the sheer volume of people who are active participants in the game. Simply put, it appears that a large proportion of the US population actually are in an alternate reality, which renders communication between players and the general populous mute.

    Congrats on your recent business venture with channel islands too!

    1. Stu, you kinda just blew my mind with the “it appears that a large proportion of the US population actually are in an alternate reality”. There have been groups of people like flat-earthers and moon-landing deniers for a long time, but this Q shit is wild. It’s like simulation theory (the Matrix, right?) in a way

      1. Hi Jeff. This is what the current research implies. Q is believed to be deliberate attempt at destabilising a population, and it appears to be working. I did forget to mention that the players in the Q game are unaware that they are in fact in a game, thus they are caught in an alternate reality unknowingly. Now the game has evolved and taken on a life of its own as intended by the producers of the game. From my perspective, the most concerning aspect to this form of mass manipulation is that it is extremely difficult to roll back, if at all.

  8. “Is there a Satanist Cabal BBQ’ing babies at George Soro’s house while Bill Gates implants tracking devices in every human being or is half the population losing their goddamn minds?” Despite TJ’s response, which was more an example of false equivalency than an answer – the two halves aren’t comparable…. So, the answer to Dane’s question is yes; half the population has lost their minds… mostly the half on the right this time around, the evangelical dinosaurs walked the earth with man and Trump won the election side. That side. Insane.

    1. There’s no such thing as being “apolitical.” Not mentioning politics doesn’t make them disappear. Political forces are operating in everything we do all the time, whether we like it or not. So the “apolitical” really amounts to implicit acceptance of and support for the status quo, which means neoliberalism, austerity, and corporate globalization.

  9. jajaja! Chapter 11 as good as it gets, as always. I meant the text…well the surf too! Thanks

  10. When I see that guy at Zuma Im gonna tell him to go back to Dume you fucking kook.

  11. I used to be hooked on trying to prove chem trails to all my peeps on facebook. That took me down a dark road and created a fucking demon inside me who hated the world and the people in it. After bottoming out, I figured that it was best to work on myself, and to practice ignorance rather than trying to be woke. So many distractions in this world. It seems the people who do the best are the ones who listen to themselves and follow their dreams, without getting distracted by all the bullshit out there.

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